Posts Tagged ‘gettingold’

Last week I wrote about stressing out our kids and one of the issues that was on the stress radar here was my oldest going back to school. First off I know by relative terms I am young, but if you would like to have a kick in the junk and make yourself feel old, send your first kid off to Kindergarten and have someone kick you in the junk.

This summer has flown by this year, of course faster than every other year it seems, but it is bittersweet. The kids get to go back to their respective holding cells and someone else can watch them for a few hours instead of my pregnant wife. However, my pregnant wife also needs to return to her employer now that the summer is over until the baby is born. As we have been leading up to this monumental event for my 5 year old, there have been some of the typical events for the beginning of school. The most fascinating to me was the school supply list. It was weird. When I was in grade school I remember that I brought my own stuff and if I didn’t have something, that was my own problem. So I would come packed up with the new markers, crayons, folders, etc. Not the same with my daughter’s school. It seems to be a community pot luck dinner for all supplies. I guess that’s a good thing, but its strange to me. Maybe its just the newness of it. I don’t know.

Well there was one item on the list that really took me by surprise. Well it was multiples of the same item. They asked that each student bring in 12 glue sticks PER KID. I have never used a glue stick so off the bat this struck me as odd, but the fact that they need a dozen of them seems silly. Twelve glue sticks. Per kid. It was nice that we were able to go in a few days earlier to drop all the stuff off but still. 12. glue sticks.

Ok, so we arrive on the first day of school and I work from home to witness this right of passage for my girl. Hannah (the oldest) had already picked out and practiced wearing her first-day-of-school dress and she is glowing with excitement. The excitement was so much that she decided to get up at 5am and start talking to my wife & I in our bed for 2 hours. We convince her to eat some breakfast and we get ready to hit the bus stop. It was at this time I realized that I was old and that Hannah was getting there too. It was a bit tough to swallow. Not like I was crying or anything, but it makes you think where the last 5 years have gone…

She can fit in her backpack


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Going into this past weekend, there was so much anticipation for our fraternity’s 90th reunion. Not so much around hearing guest speakers talk about the last 90 years and how they have flown by, but for getting to hang out with dudes I hadn’t seen in a long time, some over a decade. Well and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I needed a mancation.

The weekend began with the scenic drive through the vast openness towards more vast openness. We drove through such bubbling metropolises like Eolia, Palmyra, & Edina. Towns so small they sound like an infectious disease. Luckily and like most of the people who drove up there, I had a road buddy. A guy whom which our friendship is based on movie quotes from both Grumpy Old Men, Blazing Saddles, Caddyshack, & The Blues Brothers. We could probably have a coherent conversation using just movie quotes and fix the budget. Had it not been for him I would have gotten bored out of my skull on the drive up and probably fallen asleep on the ride home Sunday.

We arrived in town around lunch time but decided to have a couple of beers at the fraternity house before we got a bite. As we cracked open those delicious beers we strolled through the house. Apparently,  it was time for the “Open House” portion of the weekend’s events and we were surrounded with 70-somethings and their wives. The guys looked good enough for church and we had just rolled out of a car that no doubt smelled like 3.5 hours of dude. We opted for lunch immediately.

It was a good call on the lunch. We had both been craving some local fair that is near and dear to our hearts: Pagliai’s Pizza. We got our staples from College. A George on Sourdough w/ Ranch & an Original Ronza…. and some more beer (please notice the trend starting here).

I don't know what could sum up college lunch better than this...

After lunch we headed over to a local bar that was more like the central meeting place for the day than the fraternity house. Guys started rolling in around 1pm and we started up like old times… and more beer. We stayed there until we were tipsy and needed showering which would be about 3-4 more hours. This is where time starts to run together, credibility begins to fail, and my voice starts talking loud.

So to save you a story that spans the next 9 hours, I will just sum it up in bullet form:

  • Shower
  • Fraternity House Basement that was supposed to be locked
  • Drums
  • Dinner: Pagliais, this time we had the pizza
  • Fraternity Deck
  • Bars
  • Fraternity house
  • 1.6 mile walk to the hotel because the cab companies were all closed.

    Your Suburban Father Alliance hard at work

So that’s our weekend. Great story huh? Well I think with any trip of this magnitude and with such anticipation a Lessons Learned needs to be performed well at least some strong observations.

– Where some people have lost their hair, others have gained it. Much like the Conservation of Matter, I now believe hair cannot be created or destroyed, it just moves from one body to another.

– I cannot blog the day after I drink for 14 hours. Keeping a conversation with a real person was hard enough. There is no way I could accurately think and then transfer those thoughts on to paper (virtual paper). I believe you can also replace “blog” with any other verb in this situation and I don’t think I am the only one who had some troubles doing their particular verb on Sunday. Even today I am not 100%.

– Even 10 years later there is some poor drunk couple still making out on a dance floor.

– College bars in general don’t don’t really change. they even still play movies from 1985

Yes the bar had on Goonies. I have no problems with this.

– It’s amazing how a group of guys can not see each other for over 10 years and still pick up like they just saw each other yesterday. I guess it’s that whole “sharing a common experience” thing that brings guys together. Whatever it is I am glad I can mooch of them whenever I feel like it.

– I still wouldn’t let my kids date their kids.

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When I was in high school, I was an avid soccer player. In this context, by “avid” I mean that I played a lot, not that I was good. I was blessed to go to a school small enough they couldn’t cut people, and by the time I was a senior I was a starter, a captain, and All-Ohio (Academic, anyway).

Anyway, since then, I’ve largely stopped running (and moving when possible) so I’m a little out of shape. About 2 years ago I answered an online ad for an indoor soccer team needing a goalie. I didn’t play goalie (or “keeper” as some “football” snobs call the position) for my high school team but had played a few games in the net for a club team I was on, so I thought it would be a great way to get back into it slowly (as goalies obviously move less than other players).

I bought some shinguards, some cleats, and some gloves, and played for about a year. My team was great, in all fairness, considering some of them were really, REALLY good at soccer. It would have been very easy to get frustrated with me (as I’m barely, BARELY adequate). I had a great time, but didn’t get into great shape. After about 6 months I told them to look for another goalie, as I just couldn’t commit to the hour every week (I am, after all, a bid-ness man first and foremost). Shortly thereafter they found one, and I enjoyed some much needed time off.

A few weeks ago the team reached back out to me. Apparently after I left they hopped up a division (not surprising since they had a real goalie) and then their new goalie got hurt so they dropped back down a division. As all of them are in average shape, they’re perfectly content running all over the field and NOT having people kick things at their heads as hard as possible. Suckers. Anyway, I missed the game (which is a huge contributor to success) so I jumped at the opportunity generated by the injury of my replacement.

Since coming back we’ve had three games, and we’ve won all three. It took me a little while to remember the rules, and to get my sea legs back, but this week I was pretty awesome for a thirty-something fat guy playing out of position with a bunch of youngsters who started out better than I am. So I’m having fun.

I’m also painfully, painfully sore. Both wrists are messed up and the first three steps after any period of sitting are sort of half-leaning forward. But I made some great saves, some great drop kicks, and nobody has cussed me out since I came back.

If this is what winning feels like, call me Charlie Sheen.

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